Fuck No, Dan Savage!

dan savage is the person who founded the It Gets Better campaign, and is also reknowned for his “Savage Love” advice column that deals with sex, sexuality, love, and whatever other freaky stuff readers write in about

and he’s like, totally all about GSM rights, y’all!

as long as you’re a white cis homosexual male, anyway.

oh, and don’t be fat. being fat is sooooooo gross.

there’s this lovely incident where he tells a reader who indentifies as “minimally sexual” (somewhere between the spectrum of asexual and heterosexual) and all minimally sexual and asexual everywhere to stop “inflicting themselves” upon “normally sexual” people.

With all the minimally sexuals out there making normally sexuals miserable, NSNA, it should be obvious to all regular readers that there’s not exactly a shortage of people who aren’t interested in sex. With that being the case, why would you even contemplate inflicting yourself on a normally sexual person? Why not go find another minimally sexual person? You’ll be doing your minimally sexual self a favor, you’ll be doing your future minimally sexual partner a favor, and you’ll be doing all normally sexual persons everywhere a favor by removing two minimals—you and your future partner—from the dating pool.

what a fucking asshole

in the same column, talking to a woman who recently came out as queer, he refers to her tactic of telling a bisexual friend she doesn’t want to pursue a relationship because she’s still unstable from the coming-out process as “a baby-dyke variation on “I’m just not ready for a relationship right now.”“

“baby-dyke” lmao okay asshole

we also have this awesome incident where a woman writes in about how her once-gay-ex-husband-now-transexual-ex-wife has gone through a series of events in her life - first, coming out as gay, and then being diagnosed with HIV, and now declaring that she is undergoing hormone treatment and preparing for surgery to become a woman. this is having a negative impact on their 15yo son, and the mother writes in, concerned.

savage’s response? he repeatedly refers to her ex as a tranny and as a man, and just shows very little regard for the whole situation in general.

Divorced parents, gay dad, the HIV bombshell… and now, so suddenly, a woman. That’s an awful lot for a high-school-age kid, especially a boy, to deal with. The tranny activists are going to jump down my throat for this, but… it seems to me that your ex could’ve put off the sex change until after his son was out of high school. One of the things parents are supposed to do is make sacrifices, big and small, for the sake of their children. And while I think people have a right to do pretty much as they please (and parents are people), I also believe that children have a right to some stability and constancy from the adults in their lives. Perhaps I’m a transphobic bigot, but I honestly think waiting a measly 36 months to cut your dick is a sacrifice any father should be willing to make for his 15-year-old son. Call me old-fashioned.

Unfortunately, your ex wasn’t willing to make that sacrifice (selfish tranny!), or it never occurred to him to make that sacrifice (stupid tranny!).

what a fucking piece of work

(same article, he also states that sexually dominant women are rare… okay :/ he must have poor google skills)

he basically says no one should date bisexual people because they’re all sleazy heartbreakers:

I’m not saying bi guys are bad people, or they don’t make great one-night stands. Bushes, bathhouses, and sleazy gay bars are crawling with bi guys. But if a guy wants more, he’ll have an easier time getting it from another gay man.

[…]

Judging from my mail, Andrew, when a gay guy or a straight girl gets involved with a bi guy, someone always winds up getting hurt. And guess what? It’s rarely the bi guy. So while I wish the rules and the risks were the same for everyone, it seems that in this instance they’re not. 

[…]

No, there are definitely some people who should fool around with bisexual men: OTHER BISEXUAL MEN! Jesus Christ, bisexuals — if straights and gays treat you unfairly, then why not turn to each other for love and comfort? Judging from my mail of late, there’s an unlimited supply of easily offended, extremely verbose, highly ethical bisexuals out there looking for love. Fuck each other!

REMEMBER KIDS, ONLY EVER PURSUE A RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR OWN KIND! DON’T CROSS THE STREAMS! DON’T DIRTY THE BLOODLINES!

one of his crowning moments of sheer asshatery, where a rape survivor writes in with concerns about a previous article. 

he starts off okay:

I’m extremely sorry that you were raped, DRARS, 

but then it just gets

so much worse

so quickly

although your baseless accusations of rape make me doubt your claim to be a survivor of rape. The feminist bloggers are going to accuse me of thought crimes: If a woman says she was raped then, by God, she was raped. (Tell it to the lacrosse team.) If this is a thought crime, well, I plead entrapment: I wouldn’t have had these illegal thoughts if you hadn’t sent me such a stupid letter in the first place.

so basically “sorry you got raped but lol i don’t believe you really did and now i’m going to mock you”

the letter she was expressing concern about was a man who has a sexual fetish for fucking a woman while she’s asleep. his wife consented while awake, but in her sleep, she “whimpers, turns away, and otherwise makes herself inaccessible”. if that isn’t her body clearly unconsciously expressing that it does not comfortable with those sexual advances, i don’t know what is.

savage gave the man the advice to drug his wife so she would be more prone while sleeping. he then states, “I’d be willing to pop a sleeping pill now and then to keep my boyfriend happy, so why not Ambien?”

because how he thinks and feels and would act is the blueprint of how everyone should, clearly!

he finishes it off beautifully.

I hereby withdraw my consent for you to read Savage Love. If you continue to read my column against my will, well, we all know what word to apply to your actions.

who let this man near an equality movement?

he continues to show stunning disregard for asexuality when he apparently disparages the sexuality on a podcast (that i refuse to listen to - his grating, pompous voice dripping with crass superiority gives me a headache), and receives this letter from an asexual woman who only discovered that asexuality even existed several months into a relationship, explaining her asexuality, and was completely open with her boyfriend about it. she was fully expecting to get dumped, but her boyfriend was very understanding and they’d been together three years as of the sending of the email.

in savage’s response, he says the only possible way any man could ever love her and want to pursue a relationship with her is if they were “either a fool or a fag”.

then he expresses the belief that homophobic POC can do way more damage to white homosexuals than racist homosexuals can do to POC.

Reblogging as a separate post per the OP’s request

terribleflower:

If during the living hell of deeply suicidal queer adolescence, a complete stranger who looked & sounded nothing like me knocked on my door & didn’t listen or look me in the eye or give me money or information, but instead stared at the wall just over my shoulder and said “calm down now, everything will be fine someday”

That is how I perceive the “It Gets Better” project

(via strawberryfaerie)

Just some more bullshit from Dan Savage

deafmuslimpunx:

thelegalizeddeafies:

arfism:

Just found out about a play that Dan Savage has created and directed. It’s about a deafblind drag queen and of course it’s completely offensive. It is NOT okay at all. In fact, he even has a sign on the stage that says:

“This play will be deeply offensive to the deaf/blind community, so please don’t tell them. Keep your hands shut!”

Like usual, here’s a hearing person so absorbed in his own little bubble that he doesn’t happen to think about the fact that uh there’s deafblind people in the GLBT+ community. There are deaf, blind, and deafblind people in EVERY community. Way to make us feel comfortable, included, and respected. It’s not like he portrayed the character in a good way either, just read this little gem:

She can’t hear the music and she can’t see the stage, so you can imagine what her dance routine must be like. Or then again, maybe you can’t. Let’s just say, she has to wear a dog collar that zaps her whenever she gets too close to the edge of the stage. 

DISGUSTING. What is wrong with people. Why would anyone think this is funny and totally okay to do? 

We need to do something about this. Petition time? Any ideas?

He is also a fucking racist, transphobic, Islamophobic, piece of shit scumbag. Why am I not surprised that he’s ableist, audist, and hateful toward the Deaf-Blind, Deaf, and Blind communities?

(via transdrescher)

Submission from anonymous:

Has Dan Savage’s anti-rural bigotry gotten much attention yet?  He was the apparent author of an extremely offensive essay in The Stranger, “The Urban Archipelago”.  The gist is privileged upper-middle class metropolitan/suburban people are the source of all good values and progress, while rural people are dumb hicks who should not be catered to.  It is also based on a lie: county maps showing Democrat and Republican voting, with most of the large “blue” areas obviously rural yet he claims with an apparent straight face that they are urban. 

Classist tripe if you ask me.  And that he thinks VOTING, for anyone, especially Democrats, is a sign of how progressive one is, that says a lot about him too.

RE: Buck Angel, pussy, and pronouns (submission from dudecrooks)

On 4/11/12, Anonymous inquired about  “an interview I saw awhile ago where he was with a transman, and he was constantly calling him a she and referring to his ‘pussy.’”  The interview is question is here: http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/SavageLove?oid=4319746.

(Mod Note: I don’t think that’s the interview being referred to.  He did use “he” here, although he also used the word “pussy” which, while some trans men are quite okay with using, not all trans men are)