Posts tagged "Dan Savage"

Submitted by someone who wished to remain anonymous:

RAPE TW I used to read a lot of Dan Savage. Being a bi woman with a strong sex-drive, I already had kinda fucked up views of what was “expected” of me in a relationship (hello internalized biphobia) But the thing that was most damaging to me was Dan Savage’s idea of “Good Giving and Game” which my partner at the time used to instill into me the idea that since I like some kinky things, I “owed” him other kinky things that he wanted to do.

and from that, he used it to justify forcing me to have anal. Basically what I’m saying is that Dan Savage was dangerous to me because his “sex positivity” doesn’t really leave room to say no. The most fucked up thing is that it’s really hard to tell people about my rapes because they weren’t really violent, I didn’t say no, but they were rapes nonetheless. This might not’ve been the right place to share my story but goddamn it I had to put it somewhere.


Well it’s funny to think about, you’ve got the gays marching for the right to be cocksucking homosexuals, and then you have the asexuals marching for the right to not do anything. Which is hilarious. Like, you didn’t need to march for that right. You just need to stay home, not do anything.  

- Dan Savage

I’ve been mulling over this comment, and the commentary of many other people, with regard to the inclusion of asexuality in queer and other support spaces for marginalized identities.

At first glance it strikes the average person as incredibly, well, reasonable.  It seems to make sense.  ”Why does there need to be an asexual section in the pride parade?  It’s not like anyone’s taking away their rights on the premise of their asexuality.”

And that’s true, from a legal standpoint.  Heteroromantic asexuals can still marry other heteroromantic asexuals - no judge will annul their marriage because of its lack of sexual contact or lack of children.  Their marriage is, in every legal sense, no less valid than that of heteroromantic sexuals.  And that’s nice.

But the crux of pride parades, the purpose of the LGBT movement, of feminism and of social justice in many respects, is not purely a legal crusade or a singular plea for ink-on-parchment legislative rights.  These movements also exist in an effort to initiate a shift in societal thought that will allow their proponents to exist without the threat of harm, without invalidation, and without the social stigmatization that comes from being who they are.  

If the expected lifestyle of our society were such that “staying at home, not doing anything” was our primary goal, there would be no problem with Dan Savage’s words.  Yet this flies in the face of fact and stands utterly contrary to our known realities.  Asexuality - neck-deep in a culture of expected monogamy, of centuries-old socially embedded narratives of human bonding, of the still-present stigmatization of “the spinster,” “the loner,” and “the virgin” - remains unacceptable, othered, and invalidated in a culture of hyper-sexuality.

We live in a society in which the human body (largely, the female body) is over-sexualized, and where the basic functional anatomy of a person is deemed inherently sexual.  By virtue of being human and possessing these components, we are assumed to have sexual drives linked to these body parts, and we are assumed to have latent desires to express this sexuality with another human being.  In moving through public spaces and by simply existing in the sight of another human being, we are conceived of as potentially sexual, and potentially available.

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wow, I never realized quite how horrible Dan Savage is, with friends like these…







Acephobia in the LGBT+ Community from the documentary (A)sexuality. 

It is just…so fucking weird how threatened people feel when it comes to Asexuality.  I still can’t wrap my mind around it.

I’m so happy this post is being reblogged by LBGT+ people who aren’t asexual. I keep on reading posts by non-ace LGBT+ people of support to the ace community, and of being stunned by this reaction by a movement which should know better than to judge. AND THAT MAKES THIS ACE SO FREAKING HAPPY. The woman in the first photo expresses my sentiment. I know I belong in the queer/LGBTQIA movement. I want to belong. But I just don’t know if I’m welcome. I’m so happy that there are so many people on Tumblr who do not fall into the catagory of outright refusal of asexuality.

I know not a lot of people understand asexuality. And I know there’s confusion about it, about our experiences, and about how we fit in the movement. But let’s talk about this. Let’s have this conversation.

I mostly don’t delve into the ace tags, but I hear there’s a lot of ace-hate that and I really don’t get it.  I don’t understand how asexuality is threatening.

You know what I (as a queer ace-spectrum person) find most threatening?  Getting unwanted sexual unwanted advances from both queer and straight people. I’ve gotten them from people of all spectrums and it always makes me profoundly uncomfortable, and often unsafe.  It just boggles my mind how people are upset by the concept of asexuality.  That’s like getting really mad at someone who isn’t hungry.  What’s the point?  Just shut up eat your own sandwich. (And stop chewing on me.)

Wow, the fuck the people in those images.

Nobody has the right to disrespect anybody else’s sense of self. It may not be for, you but that does not give you the right to be an asshole.

We really need to push more for LGBTQIA+ to be a standard, instead of just LGBT, especially considering that even the B and T are already invisible in much of the community.

Not supporting some of us = not supporting all of us.

Who does asexuality threaten? 

What’s your damage if someone is asexual? Is that some kind of shattering blow to your ego, that someone may not want to have sex with you? Do you need reinforcement for your sexuality so badly that you feel the need to shun someone just because they don’t share it?

Pathetic and hypocritical.

(via audscratprophetlilith)

This morning, local man Andrew Wood was on his way to the store when a mugger stole his wallet and proceeded to stab him five times, before running off. Wood was left there bleeding for several minutes, before someone finally stumbled across him.

That person was Dan Savage, founder of the It Gets Better campaign.

"It was absolutely shocking," Savage said. "There was so much blood everywhere, and he could barely speak. Naturally, I knew I had to do something."

Savage reportedly told Wood, “Don’t worry! It gets better! I know things seem tough now, but if you just hang in there, everything will be okay.” At no point did Savage call 911, or make any visible effort to assist him.

After ten minutes of encouraging words from Savage, the man bled out and died.

"It’s a shame he didn’t survive. I guess he just wasn’t trying hard enough," Savage said. "But he’s in a better place now, so everything is okay. It’s like I always say: it gets better. Sometimes that just means not being alive anymore."

Wood’s family are now seeking to sue Dan Savage for criminal negligence.

Dan Savage Stands By As Man Bleeds To Death

The Wishwashington Post

(via thewishwashingtonpost)

Anonymous said: Hey, Wario, aside from the way that Dan Savage's "It Gets Better" campaign encourages people to just wait out bullying, what do you think about his blatant biphobia?



Wario is’a disgusted by Savage’s “bisexuals are just homosexuals who arent all the way out’a the closet" attitude! Wario is also disgusted by Savage’s casual’a use of transphobic slurs, Savage’s fat-shaming, and’a Savage’s blame homophobia on black people attitude!

Wario does’a not think Dan Savage should represent any portion of the LGBTQ community!

Dan Savage may be misguided–slightly–with regards to the “BT” part of the LGBT, but can we just take a second to remember who is really important?

Freshman Sociology Major

"remember who is really important" IS THIS ONE ACTUALLY FOR REAL I CANT

(via dreadrhythmic)

"Slightly" misguided?  And just the "BT" part?  Try majorly misguided about everything except the G.  The white abled cis middle-to-upper-class G.

(via pumpkinskull)

Anonymous said: I'm asexual and demigendered (or whatever, still working it out) and just WTF? He openly calls a supportive loving sexual ally a secret f*g??? And, the worse part: he's implying that this asexy woman is some 'lesser' thing that her bf's a fool to put up with. That he would use his OWN sexuality as an insult against a man who considers her sexuality valid and loves her as a person. His passive aggressive congratulation of their relationship makes me sick. He is SO triggering.

That was definitely one of his (many) low points.  Asexual people definitely are not less than non-asexual people, nor is being asexual inherently incompatible with having a relationship with a non-asexual person.

"Fuck No, Dan Savage" was created to showcase the cissexist, sexist, anti-asexual, anti-bisexual, classist, racist, sizeist, and ableist douchebaggery of Dan Savage, of "It Gets Better" (for privileged queers only) fame.

It's currently moderated by Kerry (basicallykerry), Christy (sciencefangirl), Phineas (expectedly) and Em (epiphenomenon).

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