This post makes me a bad lesbian
x-posted from my tumblr
I’m not a fan of Dan Savage. I really haven’t ever been, despite one of my best friends being a die-hard listener to his show, I just never caught the fever. Aside from his piece about bisexuality (and I’m not even going to get into that right now), his appearance last night on The Colbert Report (which isn’t online yet, as far as I can tell) was nothing short of enraging.
But, he’s fighting the good fight! He’s a visible gay leader! Don’t split hairs!
I’m sorry, Savageites (is that a term? Is that a thing?). His interview with Colbert left me rage-shaking. Here’s why.
Savage was on the show to promote his idea that abandoning the staunch monogamy of marriage can help save one in the right circumstances. Sure, things get a little crazy on The Colbert Report and maybe he threw in some half-sentences he didn’t mean in the fray. But you know what? Dan Savage is smart. He believes what he said.
And what he said was that “heterosexual marriage” is between two consenting adults, no longer is it an exchange of property, and the two adults enter on an even playing field. Of course, getting in to the times when it is NOT the case would not be conducive to his argument.
Oh, and his whole “we are not geared for monogamy” theory (which I essentially don’t have a problem with — I think that consenting adults should have the ability and freedom to do whatever they want between themselves and whatever other people they involve) comes from the misalignment of male and female. “You know how a male mind works,”* was the suggestion to Colbert. And no, he never actually says “men aren’t monogamous, women cling to monogamy!” but the implication is there.
Dan, Dan, Dan. Do you know why “men aren’t monogamous, women cling to monogamy”? Because of people like you expressing that idea. The media is filled with images that insist women want something steady, something sure, and that men, if they don’t already, should want to sleep with anything that moves. Not only is this insulting to MEN, Dan, but this is insulting to women. So stop. Seriously.
Monogamy might be outdated and something that should be negotiated with couples and not by society, I’m hardly arguing with that point. But please, don’t claim that the reason comes from something special about men or women that makes the very notion unlikely or even impossible.
*Can’t actually quote, so sue me.
(submitted by dangerouslyclose)